Kiss Me, Quick!
by Voldemort's Lovechild
Summary: Two teenagers, each lusting after the other. What happens when the frustration becomes too much to bear - for both them, and everyone subject to it? This summary sucks, so I'll basically say that it involves a lot of smut, swearing, and eventually binge drinking. What's not to like?
1. Chapter 1

**This story is written for close friend Rose Zaki – go check out her stuff. Rose, I hope you enjoy this crap...it shows how much time I have on my hands.**

**Wet Dreams**

"Oh, YES!"  
Hermione moaned as he thrusted inside her, throwing her head back in pleasure, her hands wandering all over his naked back. She had never felt so happy in her life. As she felt herself reaching her climax, she knew now was the time to say the thing she'd been itching to say since their first time together.  
"Draco, I..."  
"Hermione, wake up!"  
Jerking awake, Hermione sat up so fast she bumped her head on the ceiling of her four-poster. Rubbing her tired eyes, she looked blearily at the figure sat at the end of the bed.  
"Lav, was that really necessary? It's Saturday for fuck's sake."  
Hermione kept the bitterness in her voice to a minimum – one more minutes sleep, and she could've been in heaven.  
"Hermione, I had to wake you. You were grossing us all out with X-rated sex-dream noises."  
Hermione grimaced – it was the second time in three days that it had been mentioned.  
"Ah, shit. What did I say this time?"  
Lavender looked satisfyingly frustrated.  
"Just the usual moaning. Still haven't mentioned the identity."  
She muttered something along the lines of _I still think its Ron_, but Hermione ignored this. Lavender was still sore about the fact that Ron had broken up with her. Hermione knew exactly why, but she was enjoying keeping the gossiping bitch hanging – she'd been happy to ridicule her whenever it suited her, now it was Hermione's turn. She smiled in smug defiance.  
"The identity will remain a secret as long as it remains a dream."  
Nothing would ever happen between her and Malfoy – she was pretty sure that ferret fucking was a federal offence, never mind just plain wrong. After everything he'd said to her...

...

"MR. MALFOY!"  
Draco hastily lifted his head off his arms, and acted as though he hadn't just taken a power-nap in the middle of transfiguration. He became suddenly aware of a wetness in his trousers, and looked down in trepidation. Sure enough, under as close examination as possible in public, he realised that he had in fact jizzed in his pants. Curse that mudblood's tits...  
"Sexually frustrated though you are, Mr. Malfoy, could I ask you to keep your fantasies to outside the classroom? Some of us actually take this class seriously, you see."  
Thankful that he hadn't got a detention, Draco merely nodded and carried on transfiguring his guinea pig. He didn't understand what was wrong with him, Granger was way below his calibre of wizard – why was he dreaming of taking her boobs between his hands, and...Draco sighed. It had been a reoccurring dream for weeks now. Why could he not keep his thoughts from wandering into her knickers for more than a second? Draco sighed again – he would never understand girls.


	2. Chapter 2

**This story is written for close friend Rose Zaki – go check out her stuff. Rose, I hope you enjoy this crap...it shows how much time I have on my hands. Please note there will be no holding back – this is going to become downright porn...**

**Wet Dreams**

Hermione rocked against him in a steady rhythm for the third night in a row – she swore she'd get internal bruising anytime soon. She tightened as she felt him cum inside her, literally exploding with pleasure.  
"HERMIONE, FOR FUCK'S SAKE!"  
She woke with a start, knowing that she'd surpassed herself this time. Lavender was sat on the edge of the bed, practically wriggling with smugness – it was a sickening sight.  
"To be fair, I don't blame you. Malfoy is an FWF."  
To tired to even ask, Hermione merely grunted in enquiry.  
"Fuck-worthy ferret – DUH."  
Hermione groaned, burying her face in her pillow. She hated him, so why did she feel the need to cream her bed over him every fucking night? Laughing evilly, Lavender pulled her back upright, smirking a coy grin – she was about to issue the ultimatum Hermione had been dreading since the first dream.  
"I promise not to tell anybody – if you tell me why Ron broke up with me."  
Hermione sighed – she knew that Lavender was going to tell anybody she could reach regardless, so there was no point hiding the secret anymore.  
"Lav, Ron broke up with you for a number of reasons. Do you want all of them, or just one?"  
The way Lavender rolled her eyes and sneered made Hermione severely want to rip her silicon-enhanced tits off.  
"All of them, you retard."  
Hermione took a deep breath, and found that she was relishing it what she had to say – that bitch was in for the shock of her life.  
"One – He felt pushed into the relationship in the first place. Second – you cheated on him so much that when you were together, you gave him an STI. Third – He's loved Luna since the first day they met. Fourth – you're a total control freak and have been a bitch to him throughout your dating him. Finally – when you slept together, he got you pregnant, but you had an abortion. The only reason he knows, is because Parvati told him. She didn't think it was fair that he had no say. Satisfied now?"  
Lavender's face had gone completely blank, her mouth hanging open, making her look like a fish out of water. She then began to yell obscenities at Hermione, but she cut her off.  
"Shout at me all you want, it doesn't change the fact that you are a whore, does it?"  
Leaving Lavender gaping after her, Hermione swiftly left for breakfast.

...

Draco was lusted after – this came as no shock to him. He was tall, with wavy blonde hair, steely grey eyes, and muscles so pronounced you could see the tendons in his arms. No, what shocked him, was that he was lusted after by Hermione Granger. It was all over school – how she whispered his name, how she spunked her pants...how she _moaned_ for him. It made him feel like the king of the world.  
"Hey, Granger!"  
He smirked as she seemed to shiver at the mere sound of his voice – how he loved to antagonise.  
"What do you want, ferret?"  
Draco moved closer to her, practically purring in her ear.  
"I knew I was irresistible ..."  
His speech was cut off as Granger punched him squarely in the face with as much force as she could muster. Without thinking, he channelled his passionate anger in the only way he knew – he kissed her aggressively, sweeping her off her feet. He pulled away, panting with both lust and fury. Hermione looked around to see if anyone was watching, and then swiftly pulled him into a clump of bushes, a look of desperation on her face.  
"Just kiss me, moron..."


	3. Chapter 3

**This story is written for close friend Rose Zaki – go check out her stuff. Rose, I hope you enjoy this crap...it shows how much time I have on my hands. Please note there will be no holding back – this is going to become downright porn...I apologise for any spelling and/or grammar issues now...**

**Friendly Fuck**

"Just kiss me, moron!"  
Hermione was sick of dancing around him – she was gonna fuck this bitch so hard, he'd be able to taste his own balls. She fell backwards, dragging him with her so that he landed on her. The feel of his body shot electricity straight through her, causing a mild tingle in her pants. She kissed him, pressing herself as close as she could possibly get. If this was going to follow the dream, he'd finger her at any moment.  
"Hermione, stop."  
It wasn't the shock of him denying her sex that made her stop – he'd called her by her actual name. She looked into his eyes, pleading with him, feeling herself already getting wet.  
"Draco, I've wanted this for ages. To the point where I've been waking myself up through moaning. Now that I'm actually getting somewhere, I am not going to stop."  
"So this isn't just some passionate anger exertion?"  
Hermione laughed bitterly.  
"Honey, if you'd let me finish, I'll show you the meaning of passionate."  
...

Draco didn't need to be told twice. As she traced his neck line with her tongue, it took all his concentration not to spunk. Hungrily, he tore off her shirt – hopefully, he'd get at least one motorboat out of this. She moaned a little, her nails lightly scratching his back. He sucked her neck, leaving a trail of hickies all the way down to her waist, where he promptly ripped her skirt of with his teeth. He knew he didn't have long left, so he wasn't going to fart around. As she tossed her head back, she shimmied her knickers off, whilst he unbuttoned his fly, letting his 'wand' roam free. He looked back at her face, only to find that her chocolate eyes were locked with his. He straddled her, meeting her full, cherry-flavoured lips with his taught ones. He took a deep breath, and slid in. When he began to thrust, ecstasy exploded through him. He bit the pulse point on her neck in lust, leaving yet another bruise.

...

Hermione felt herself beginning to climax, and tightened her 'grip', trying to resist. She grabbed his back, and rolled over so that she was now riding him. As he thrusted upwards, she rocked against him, increasing the momentum.  
"Draco?" She breathed.  
"Does this count as beastiality? What with you being a ferret and all..."  
Draco laughed, increasing the rocking motion, spreading pleasure throughout Hermione's increasingly sensitive undercarriage.  
"I'll show you just how _beastly_ I can be."  
He withdrew from her, gently pushing her onto her back as he took her bra off. Sucking her nipples, his hands wandered down her quivering body, and he began to stoke her clitoris.  
"Draco? Draco, stop, I'm gonna o..OH!"  
...

Draco felt her orgasm, and pulled her upright, smiling. He bent and kissed her gently.  
"If things had been different, THAT is how it would've started. I'll see you tomorrow, gorgeous."

Later that night, Draco woke from an incredibly graphic flashback – HE'D GOT LAID BY GRANGER!


	4. Chapter 4

**This story is written for close friend Rose Zaki – go check out her stuff. Rose, I hope you enjoy this crap...it shows how much time I have on my hands. Please note there will be no holding back – this is going to become downright porn...I apologise for any spelling and/or grammar issues now...Thank you to all of my beautiful reviewers – Nutella and cookies are being sent to you as you read this :)**

**Get On With It!**

"Hermione? Hermione!"  
Hermione woke with a start, sitting up and pulling a few leaves from her hair. Leaves? She was still outside! She'd fallen asleep, and that cunt had just left her, junk on display to everybody. Trying to recover as much dignity as she could, she got dressed in a heartbeat, turning to see who'd woken her. When she moved her neck, she winced, remembering how hard he'd bitten her – it'd been _so_ worth it though.  
"Hermione, would you care to tell me why you're lying butt-naked in the middle of a rose bush?"  
Hermione breathed a sigh of relief – Ron wouldn't embarrass her. He was like a brother to her. However, could she really tell him about letting a Slytherin's snake slither into her? She sighed – honesty was the best policy, otherwise he'd just get pissed off when it eventually leaked out. Plus, Malfoy would be telling anyone and everyone he could that he'd porked the Gryffindor 'princess'.  
"Malfoy was being a total fuckwit, so I punched him, and he kissed me. That then escalated into casual sex..."  
Hermione paused to let the shock sink in, but Ron simply started to piss himself laughing. When he'd finally finished, Hermione found herself grinning too – in hindsight, it was quite funny.  
"I fucked a ferret – there has to be some kind of law against that."  
Ron looked at her, a sly, lopsided grin taking shape on his freckly face.  
"Well if you think that's bad, Harry's mum shagged a deer! What if the antlers had got stuck?"  
"EWW! Ah, that's so gross."  
Hermione screwed up her face, trying to resist the image of Lily Potter bumming Bambi. Hiccoughing her way back to seriousness, she turned to Ron with a slightly knowing look on her face.  
"Why are you out here, anyway?"  
Ron suddenly became slightly shifty, and looked down in embarrassment. Hermione took one look at his face, and made up her mind – their time at Hogwarts was nearly over, she might as well to her bit to get her friends together. Luna was crazy about him, but was sensible to wait for Ron to say the words. All their relationship needed was a kick up the arse to get started. Standing up, she grabbed his hand and dragged him along behind her, walking briskly to Greenhouse three.  
"Hermione, what the fuck are you doing? Let go, you loony!"  
She let go, waving her wand over the pair of them. The leaves disappeared from her hair, and her clothes were no longer crumpled. Ron, however, was affected even more. His hair was no longer a tangled mop, but curled in smooth waves to just above his shoulders. His jeans were no longer frayed, and they now emphasised his pert backside. Although he was the equivalent of flesh and blood, Hermione still appreciated how nice his arse was. Making sure she hadn't missed anything, she smiled at the person walking towards them.  
"Hello, Luna. What brings you out here so early?"  
"Oh, just planting some dirigible plums. They ward off Nargles, you see."  
Hermione gently winked at her, and then pushed Ron forward.  
"Ronald has something to tell you, don't you, Ron?"  
Ron gulped, looking down and blushing as red as his hair.  
"What is it, Ron?"  
The softness in Luna's voice seemed to bring life to Ron's turquoise eyes. He looked at her, opening his mouth, but words seemed to fail him.  
"Luna, I...I think...I...you look really nice today."  
Hermione threw her hands in the air, finally exasperated.  
"For fuck's sake, just kiss her!"  
Before Ron could even react, Luna seized the collar of his shirt, and kissed him full on the mouth, wrapping her arms around his shoulders. Satisfied, Hermione walked back up to the castle – she'd let Ron have this moment to himself.

...

Three hours later, Ron still hadn't come back to the common room. Resignedly, Hermione wandered back down to the greenhouse to find Ron and Luna still snogging gently in the sunset. Hermione coughed, and they broke apart, Ron looking sheepish, Luna looking victorious.  
"Are you finally together, now?"  
Ron began to say something, but it came out as gibberish.  
"mimbladghblak"  
Hermione raised her eyebrows, coyly.  
"Ah. You're speaking in tongues, Ronald!"


	5. Chapter 5

**This story is written for close friend Rose Zaki – go check out her stuff. Rose, I hope you enjoy this crap...it shows how much time I have on my hands. Please note there will be no holding back – this is going to become downright porn...I apologise for any spelling and/or grammar issues now...Thank you to all of my beautiful reviewers – Nutella and cookies are being sent to you as you read this :)**

**WARNING: This chapter contains a theme of excessive alcohol consumption – I would tell readers to drink responsibly, except that I very much enjoy my drunken games of spin-the-bottle, so...**

**Grow a Pair!**

Draco hadn't seen Hermione since that night – that was a week ago. He felt bad for just leaving her there in the dirt, but at the end of the day she wasn't attracted to him – she was attracted to the heartless wanker that his father had created. It was his lack of charm and aura of rebellion that made him alluring to her, not his looks or her wanting to know what he was truly like. Draco spat bitterly on the floor of the empty common room. It wasn't that, and he knew it.

"I'm spineless...a cowardly, spineless twat who let his dick rule his mind and then chickened out."

The truth was that, after the amount of passion that went into that fuck, Hermione had practically passed out. Looking down at such a peaceful soul, her beauty glittering in the reflection of the dappled light from the leaves, Draco had felt tainted. She had been pure, and he'd penetrated that – literally. He didn't have the balls to face her again. Unfortunately, he didn't have a choice.

_Tap. Tap! TAP!_

"Alright, Misty, keep your tampon in!"

Groaning, Draco rolled out of bed and opened the window to let in his beautiful eagle owl. Unlike most of the wizarding community, who would've named the owl after a star or a flower, Draco had named her Misty because of the unusual colour of her plumage. Eagle owls were normally in a pattern of differing shades of brown, but not Misty. Similarly to that of the coat of a horse, she had been born a chick of the blackest feathers ever seen, the shopkeeper said, but as she had gotten older, the black had dappled away into smudges of lighter grey, making her almost glitter in some lights. She flew delicately in, landing on a perch that Draco had carved himself into his bedside table – it wasn't fantastic, but then he had been using his mother's wand. Spotting a golden scroll tied to her leg, Draco untied her gently, careful not to pull to hard – she wasn't delicate, but Misty was not unknown to bite him if he fiddled too much.

_Malfoy,  
There's a party in the Room of Requirement tonight – the whole year will be there...and so will their weight's worth in alcohol. This is technically an invitation, but you have no choice – come, or you never get your knob wet again. 8:30pm._

_H x_

Draco finished reading and grimaced with determination – he was NOT a coward. He would go to that party, and he would win her over so hard that she'd begin to topple under again!

...

Hermione was furious – Ron had posted invitations to a party in HER name. Ok, she hadn't been with Malfoy for a while, but she liked it that way. The spontaneous side added a little erotic risk to their games. She would go to this party, though – she had a plan to get her wicked way once again.

...9:00pm...

"Ok, who's up for a little...drinking game?"

This far along the process of intoxication, those words were more magical to those teenagers than any others. Remarkably fast considering the amount of lightweights in the room, everyone gathered into a big circle. Smiling broadly, Hermione conjured a crystallised mead bottle from the tip of her wand.

"This bottle is enchanted so that not only does the pair it lands on have to both drink and kiss, but if you try to chicken out, it dissolves a layer of your clothing. At the end of the game, you will get them back, but just to warn you...Everybody ready?"

Hermione's words were slurred, but there was a resounding roar from the others nonetheless. Internally, she giggled – Draco looked like fucking Braveheart. She hoped this worked- she needed to see the Gryffindor within the Slytherin. With a flick of her wand, the bottle span.

"Oooh, Ronald...ok, you have to kiss..."

The game continued for quite some time before anything interesting happened.

"Oh god, I guess it's my turn then."

Hermione span the bottle again, it swivelling and landing on Ginny. The crowd began to wolf-whistle and jeer – they'd been playing for half an hour and this was the first same sex kiss to happen. Hermione looked over to Harry, and saw exactly what she was expecting – the same greedy, kinked-up expression every guy wore when two girls were going to kiss. It was horrific.

"Ginny, are you ok with this?"

"Just do it, Granger, there are people waiting."

The impatience in his voice wasn't enough to conceal the desperation beneath it. Draco was horny, and she was gonna use that as much as she could. Both she and Ginny crawled into the middle of the circle.

"Thirty seconds, on three...one...two...three"

She crushed her lips onto Ginny's, their tongues dancing what probably resembled the mouth equivalent of an Irish jig. They broke apart, cheering echoing around them – it was a good thing that the room was soundproof! Moving back to her place in the circle, Hermione glanced at Draco and grinned – he was still wearing his cum face, and it was beautiful. For once in her life, she understood how Bellatrix must have felt at her prime – vindictive power did feel good.

"Ok, now that you boys have finished dealing with your boners, let's move on...my my, Mr. Malfoy."

Draco looked up, that determined grimace upon his face once more – if he strained any harder, he'd end up shitting himself. The bottle span again, landing on...

"No. Fucking. Way. I'm not kissing Schlong-bottom **(I'm sorry, I had to XD)**."

Hermione stood up, and walked over to him, the vindictiveness gone. Now was the time to be serious.

"Draco, I like you. But...there's no way I'm going to date a guy with a vagina."

Everybody laughed, but before Draco could protest, Hermione pressed a finger to his lips.

"All I mean is that you're a coward. Grow some balls, Malfoy, and man the fuck up before you lose me."

"I'm not a coward! I'm not kissing Schlong-bottom because he isn't the person I want to be kissing...No offence, dude, I'm sure you and your pus-puking cactus will be very happy."

Hermione smiled – her dazzling, breath-taking smile that was saved for only the times like this...the cheesy, she's-the-man type moments that memorised twelve-year olds the world over.

"This is your chance to prove it."

Giving him no time to pull away, Hermione crushed her face onto his, kissing him even harder than she had before. It stayed that way for at least ten minutes before they broke apart, panting.

"Not here, Hermione. I'll kiss you, but what you're looking for is a private thing, and I don' thing people want to see that...besides, I'll kill their self-esteem with how much pleasure you get out of my cock."

Hermione grabbed his head between her hands and turned it so that he could see the rest of the party guests...who were now all shagging. In broad view of everyone.

"Malfoy, I don't think they give a shit to be honest."

Her lips inches from his, and her tongue tracing the outline of his mouth, she whispered the one line she knew would keep him hooked forever...

"Time to join the orgy."


End file.
